The biggest gift of a healer is not an activated third eye. It’s not even the ability to do hands-on healing. It’s empathy.
A healer can only heal the wounds whose depth they understand. But, that’s not what the Wounded Healer archetype is about.
A wounded healer is a person who himself/herself struggles with the wounds that they attempt to heal in others. In many cases, this person tries to overcompensate for the wound they feel they failed to heal for themselves.
Who Is A Wounded Healer? Are You One?
A wounded healer does not heal others from a place of service. They do not even do it to fulil their mission or purpose. The need to ix something (if not their own wound) fuels their desire to help others. It’s the inability to heal themselves that makes them project their pain onto others.
It’s not that wounded healers lack empathy. They do feel others’ struggles. They do try to help them.
However, they take failures very seriously. Wounded healers are not open to feedback (as criticism often impacts their self-esteem).
They also set unrealistically high standards for themselves. Not standing up to their own expectations often sends them down a downward spiral.
This creates a vicious cycle of self-abuse.
One of the biggest examples of wounded healers is Chiron.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was the wisest centaur. He was a mentor to many Greek legends. However, during a battle, he was accidentally injured by Heracles’s arrow.
The injury was fatal. However, Chiron, being an immortal God, could not die.
The injury crippled Chiron for the rest of his life. However, he continued to heal others.
The pain he felt gave him perspective. It’s what made him a better healer. It was also what prompted him to continue his study of the healing craft.
Having experienced pain himself, Chiron could better understand and connect with those who were suering. However, his own wound was a constant source of agony. It was also the reason for him renouncing his immortality.
He negotiated with Zeus (who had punished Prometheus for defying him). In exchange for Prometheus’s freedom, he oered his immortality.
While his wound did give him a sense of purpose, there is nothing in literature that suggests that he found peace with his pain.
He could never be free of his own suering.
11 Signs That You Are A Wounded Healer
‘Wounded healer’ is an archetype that many people in the spiritual community resonate with. It is not a diagnosis. With that being said, let’s now move on to the signs that you are a wounded healer:
- You feel a constant need to ix something/someone. In other words, you escape from pain by trying to help others.
- You take negative feedback very personally. It’s okay to be upset about criticism. However, does being criticized impact your self-esteem? Do you constantly fear being rejected? This is a tell-tale sign of a wounded healer.
- You ind yourself taking other’s pain very personally. I’m not talking about empathy. Wounded healers often see others’ problems as their failures, as it reminds them of the unhealed wound within them.
- You frequently feel burnt out. It’s okay to want a break. But, if you regularly feel the need to withdraw from the world, it is a sign that you may be a wounded healer.
- You lose yourself in other people’s stories. Instead of writing your own story, you spend a lot of time imagining yourself feeling others’ pain.
- You regularly feel anxious about the outcome of your work. Or, you may be prone to panic attacks in general.
- You do not love what you do. But, you do love what you do for others. Forgetting your own needs is not noble. It is not divine. You need to honour yourself and your feelings.
- You regularly try rituals to manifest your dreams. Wanting to manifest your desires is not a bad thing. However, we need to have faith in the Universe. Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be.
- You regularly feel the need to protect yourself from negative energies/entities.
- You are primarily led by your emotions. Instead of you managing your feelings, your feelings control your actions.
- You struggle to understand the purpose of wounds .Healers should not just try to fix what is in front of them. Every wound has a purpose that needs to be understood. Every scar has a story that deserves to be honoured. Wounded healers often struggle to understand that.
What Can You Do? How To Stop Being A Wounded Healer?
If you resonate with these signs, it is time for you to honour your pain. It is okay to feel hurt. But, you don’t need to ix the world to feel better about yourself.
Give yourself a break. It’s okay to ask for help. Trust that you deserve it.
You can serve the collective while taking care of yourself. You can heal others while tending to your own injuries. Life isn’t really that complicated. However, before you can begin healing yourself, you irst need to understand yourself.
Respect the pain that you feel. Meditate or connect with your guides to ask for its purpose. Ask them for guidance. Only you can decide the way forward.
I believe in you. It’s time for you to do that too.